I can’t tell you how often inadequate feelings overwhelm me. I mean… I live in Orange County, California, in the city where Real housewives of California is filmed. They literally have a reality show that is my life. I can’t even crack the joke that they should make a reality show about my life, because it already exists.
Let me back track for a second, I’m a military brat that moved every two to three years growing up, and I consider myself a flexible, well-adjusted, social individual because of it. I mean, you can’t move every few years and not adjust to your surrounding, right? Move in, get acquainted, make friends, move again and repeat. It was my way of life. You’d think after doing this for over 20 years…. I’d have it all figured out right?
However, Motherhood, is just different. There is something in motherhood that just brings it all to a whole new level. I often compare myself to others and wonder if I'm good enough. I often ask myself, Is my kid good enough, Did I pick the right things for my kid's lunch? Is my kid getting enough extra curricular activities? Did I say the right things? Is my kid hanging with the right kid?
I sometimes think the movie "Bad Moms" was made about me, I’m a stay-at-home mom, substitute teacher, health and fitness coach, and an Etsy shop owner. I have plenty of friends and I keep busy, almost too busy! But, it never feels like I do enough, am enough, or feel like enough.
I often wonder why can’t we mothers just be real? Why can’t we be honest with the fact that it is tough to be a mom.?
Whether you are a full-time working mom, a full-time stay at home mom, a military mom, a special needs mom, an empty nest mom - momming is hard!
There is no manual. And lets be real, even if there was one it would be a crock of lies! What is good for one child isn’t good for others. Motherhood is not a one size fits all.
With age, I've learned a few tidbits. No one is perfect. No seriously, no one! Even that hot little number who goes to yoga every morning after dropping off her kid to school, and looks like she doesn’t eat because she’s got the perfect body, her clothes seem to fit perfectly, she smiles like an angel and people love to be around her. All of us know that mom. But, yep even her. Not perfect!
We only let people see what we want them to see. Often times the women who seem to have it perfectly together are the ones with the biggest problems, hidden deep within.
The grass is never really greener on the other side. It's a complete myth! mean its kinda like cooking, it always tastes better when someone else does it. And why shouldn’t it? But if you get right down to it, if you had someone else's life would you really be happier?
Sometimes I, too, lie to myself and think someone else's grass is greener than mine. Ff only I had their money, clothes, parents, time and energy, my life would be better. But would it? Because that would also mean that I wouldn’t have the wonderful husband, amazing son, and supportive parents that I have in my life.
Time flies by so quickly, but it becomes more and more important that we learn to savor even the simplest moments. Too often we wish we could fast forward time, such as a mother with an infant who is longing for sleep or a toddler who is throwing a fit. Before you know it your little one is a tween who is growing up much too quickly. It is then that you will long for your child to be little again. So savor those moments, and who you have to spend them with, while you still have them.
There is not just one successful way to navigate through this crazy roller coaster ride called parenting. We do the best we can with what we have. Comparing ourselves to others does only one thing, it makes us feel inadequate. The truth there is always some one who has it worse. So while you are navigating through a crazy life, feel free to make mistakes and laugh about it. While you're at it smile at a stranger and hold their door for someone.
Live your life, and live it fully. Enjoy it to the fullest.